Past Newsletters
Conquering the NegativityJun 27
Zip ZopJun 5
How to Pick a Phenomenal CoachMay 22
Client Spotlight with NickMay 9
Can't Sleep- Go Do SquatsApr 10
Are You Causing a Swarm?Mar 27
FOM Video Launch!Mar 13
Last chance to sign up for FOM CertificationFeb 27
The Pursuit of LoveFeb 12
Client Spotlight with SunniJan 30
Do Your Flaws Drag You Down?Jan 3
The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From the TreeDec 19
Accessing Your Inner CoachDec 5
Even Trainers Need TrainingNov 25
Joy - Are You Ushering It In Or Out?Nov 7
News Letters

Fri, January 3

Client Spotlight with David Smith

Frame of Mind Coaching

Todays Client Spotlight: David Smith

Career: Engineering Specialist at Siemens Industry

Coaching period: 10 weeks of 1-1 coaching, plus follow-up alignment coaching with Coach Carla

Why did you seek out coaching with Frame of Mind Coaching?

I was going through so much at the time and I was feeling a lot of insecurity in many areas of my life. I was already two years past a divorce, and felt I was investing too much of my energy into a new relationship. I was anxious about my care-giving responsibilities with regard to my dad. I was in transition in so many ways, and I felt like I wasnt moving forward. I knew it would be helpful to have someone help me dismantle my thoughts, because I needed clarity to move forward in my life. I had been dating someone who was getting results from Frame of Mind Coaching, and also heard great things about FOM from a successful entrepreneur. I looked into FOM and interviewed the coaches, then chose Carla to be my coach.

What David learned from coaching:

-I used to doubt myself a lot. People would say, Youre good at that and Id say Ya whatever. Going through coaching was a confidence builder. I had a stock pile of things that I felt were always a challenge for me to believe, and I believe them now.

-One Frame of Mind Coaching principal that stood out to me was: You cant change other people, but you do have the power to choose how you respond to other people, and to choose if you want to get mad or sad or upset. Now, Im quicker to get back to ground zero and realize I am in control of my own self. That is something that I live by on a daily basis.

-I am much more confident in myself and in my choices. Carla helped me collect a lot of evidence that helped me be more secure with who I am. When I continued my relationship, I didnt let it create insecurities in me. The evidence that surfaced helped me get a promotion and sort out my role as a care-giving manager for my father.

-I learned how to respect myself more. I realized I was often accommodating everyone else, without looking after myself. I was what they call a pleaser; I was always out there pleasing people. Carla helped me recognize that I had to respect myself and that I didnt have to be insecure. I am also more mindful when I make assumptions and jump to conclusions. I dont make as many assumptions as I used to. I put a buffer in there before I react to things.

What advice would you give others about coaching?

When it comes to coaching, you get out of it what you put into it. You have to step up to the plate and make yourself vulnerable. You need to say the things you would typically deny in a conversation with someone.

I cant say enough good things about my coaching experience. The other day I sent Carla an e-mail telling her that I felt she was family because she knows so much about me. Hopefully some day we can cross paths with one another.

Do Your Flaws Drag You Down?

Davida Ander

There is one very scary interview question which has probably, at one time or another, caused you to tremble in your socks, bite your lip and anxiously glance from side to side. What is the question, you ask? Its the frightful What is your greatest weakness? question.

This question tripped me up so much in my Frame of Mind Coaching interview with Kim and Allan, that I ummed and ahhhed for about five minutes before awkwardly turning the tables and avoiding the question by asking them What are your greatest flaws?

We use many tactics to hide our flaws in both our professional and personal lives, because admitting them makes us feel imperfect and vulnerable. We give our flaws a great deal of power over our lives every day.

Just last week, Kim was cleaning out her office when she handed me some loose sheets of paper. Here, you can have these, she said. These are the notes I took when I called your references, when we were contemplating hiring you.

I anxiously skimmed the notes and I came across some of the weaknesses that were brought up. Feeling very exposed, I internally reacted with denial and irritation. I cant believe they said that about me, I thought. I asked Kim to clarify some of the comments and she explained, Youre focusing on the wrong thing. It was true. When I reread the notes, I noticed that the comments were overwhelmingly positive, yet I had automatically zoomed in on the negative.

The more we think about our flaws and focus on them, the more power we give to them. If you are directionally challenged, and each time you leave your house you think, I suck at directions, I am bound to get lost, chances are you will get lost. If you struggle with technology and each time you work on a project you think, Somethings bound to go wrong, well, it isnt a huge surprise when something does go wrong.

When we feed our flaws, they become more pronounced and persistent. When we look for ways in which we can fail, our flaws turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

In the midst of our embarrassment and denial over our shortcomings, we often forget that there is a flip-side to every flaw. Chances are, if you are an impatient person, you are also very good at taking initiative. If you are a slow worker, you are probably very thorough. If you are an attention seeker, you are most likely good at public speaking. By finding the strength in your flaw, you can begin to embrace it. It is an exciting concept that our flaws can shine light on our strengths.

Another way to embrace our flaws is by re-labelling them. We continue to accentuate our flaws by merely naming them as our flaws. How would you feel if you labelled all of your weaknesses as quirks instead? Suddenly they dont seem so bad, right? The characteristics we deem unlovable and problematic often make us attractive and interesting. They are defining parts of our personality that make us unique.

I thought I had busted my Frame of Mind Coaching interview big time with the fretted weaknesses question. Yet two weeks later, I received an unexpected call from Kim. Wed love to hire you. When can you start? she said.

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